The punishment they deserve!

I can't tell you how painful it is to hear a news of such kind...you know I haven't read the news or watched it on TV either... because I don't want to go through the melancholic and dolorous memories of the news of Mukhtaran or Zainab or 4 months old Hiba or the para-medical student bus or the female photojournalist at work.. 

it gives me goosebumps...when I empathize such a woman...I am talking about some REAL EMPATHY... my jaws close tighter, teeth start to clatter, my fists clench to the extent that the knuckles grow white..and i go mad with fury...I feel scared of the fact that I'm a girl and I have to go out of my home with this fear of being raped.. HONESTLY.. I fear being raped..!! ..and today even men are not safe from it (I hope you have read the most recent case of HAMZA AWAN...)!!

Rape is AGAINST humanity... and the culprits should NOT be treated HUMANELY... they are the only people whom I DESPISE to death! 

The problem is not the media, NOT EVEN THE FRUSTRATIONS or REPRESSIONS in the society.. because rapes have not been recently invented.. they've been a PART of the crime list since prehistoric times...Many cases are not reported because they won't get justice, only humiliation... or the woman may get raped by the policemen as well..

If Islam punishes a thief by cutting his hands, and if the system should be "eye for an eye" then why not prestige for prestige??? 

Its only solution is to CASTRATE such men in the centre of the city's biggest square and then media should cover THAT.. YES.. It will be a WORTH-COVERING report..!!.. and it should be then shown all over the world...In fact.. PACU FISH should be set free on such men and everyone should see the consequences of snatching a woman's prestige...such freaks do not have the right to remain MEN if they do not have a control over their MASCULINITY...such men should be turned into EUNUCHS for good..because REAL MEN DON't RAPE!!!!And not only that, they should be dragged through the cities with no clothes on their bodies, their nails should be pulled off and their eye brows and hair should be shaved completely!

I don't see any RATIONALITY in TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE PSYCHE OF THE RAPISTS...because their problem is the savage animal taking over them whenever it feels so...and a rapist's animal may sleep in the jail but wake up once he gets bailed... so the SOURCE of his SAVAGERY should be eliminated forever..!

ALL PSYCHO-SOCIOLOGICAL THEORIES MEAN ZILCH to ME when a girl has been raped by a gang..or even a single man... There will be no coming back if a woman has lost the peace of her mind and soul ... I don't see a reason as to WHY I SHOULD GET TO KNOW "WHY HE RAPED HER"... NO! 

I know many of the readers of this post will condemn such an action.. but ask those girls who have been raped..and are unfortunately ALIVE and when it comes to avenging such maniacs, I become an EXTREMIST too...!!!!! Only a raped girl knows how huge a volcano boils inside her and how deeply and eagerly she wants to see her culprits suffer the way she did!! Just think of yourself, ladies! Or your sister, your friend, your wife, your mother, your daughter.. and THEN tell me if I am wrong...

The movement that the people are starting against rapes or the protests they are holding should not only be meant to ask for JUSTICE.. but to ask for a painful, EQUALLY EMBARRASSING and LESSON-BEARING PENALTY for all others who even INTEND to do so.. so that men may know that it is not only a raped girl who'll lose her esteem... they'll lose it too..!! They DESERVE this! 

https://www.facebook.com/roxnynamra

Beauty consciousness among men v/s women

Who hasn't heard this part of the poem:

"....makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.."
But Plato said something different,
"Every man wishes to be healthy, rich and beautiful!"
Beauty is the satisfaction of soul. It is anything that gives pleasure and is soothing for the eye. We may classify beauty as outer and inner one, while being "beautiful" means to have a balanced combination of both.

The concept of beautification is quite prehistoric, where we find ornaments, chemicals and multitude of dresses in the excavated ruins of thousands of years old buried cities. Islam preaches its followers to be clean and tidy, be well-dressed, to wear fragrances and to comb the hair and beard (if present) properly. It became more popular with the advent of French Revolution and renaissance, where people began to worry more of how to portray and maintain "elegance" and "belle". It can be seen from the pictures and art work, architecture and inventions, that how symmetry, regularity and beauty was sought in every aspect and field.

Today (13th of September, 2013) I participated in a popular talk show at Dunya TV where I was one of the speakers at the discussion panel. The theme was " Of the two genders, which is more beauty conscious?".

Firstly, we all are aware of the fact that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Something may look beautiful to one person, but may not appeal others; or vice versa.  Recently I came across a sociological study results about difference in perception of beauty, conducted in Washington DC. The main actor was Joshua Bell, one of the most famous violinists of the world. People spend thousand of dollars to buy a ticket to watch his show. And when he was playing the violin at a metro station of DC, in pretty shaggy clothes, nobody bothered. No one even recognized him. This shows how people perceive "beautiful" and "attractive" in routine life. Similarly, each person has a different perception of perfection, and thus, each follows their own way to attain it.
When it comes to being adorable, I think, every person is born beautiful as God has created everyone out of His very best skills. So natural beauty is always there. But then, there comes a time, when that naturalism has to be polished, groomed and made presentable. That is the beginning of the phase of self-embellishment. This earns a great deal to the cosmetics, dresses, shoes, healthcare products, medicine, drugs and so on. An approximated expenditure on the beauty industry by 2014 is to be $24 billion!

We all are aware of the NEED of beautification in today's world. Psychiatrist Eva Ritvo states that , "Skin conditions have a profound influence on opportunity and social behavior." This clearly shows how significant it is to appear attractive!

But now starts the debate...

Should men try to BEAUTIFY themselves like the girls???

The question is quite tricky, and the answer may vary from person to person. So let's put the question the other way, should men try to imitate women in the process of adorning themselves?

When I was asked this question, I thought for a moment, and this point flashed in my mind: Beauty gives internal satisfaction and pleasure, and every person has the right to be happy. So they have a right to embellish themselves. But the problem our society is facing today is, "feminization of culture". The men are trying SO HARD to look "beautiful" rather "handsome", that they've even begun to give a tougher competition to the softer sex. They, in the phase of looking like an "ideally beautiful guy", have left behind many aspects of masculinity.

Now another feature we will focus upon is masculinity, maleness or the characteristics that distinguish a person from females. This term is a cultural construct. It is defined by the various cultural norms, values and mores. Moreover, the social institutions have an influence on the genders and their roles/ features.There was a time when men were appreciated for being "rough n' tough". It was good to be tall, dark and well-built. But today we see more of the pretty, cheeky faces of the girlish boys who're afraid of playing outside because they'd lose their fair complexion; and yet those who go for all sorts of fairness creams to look "fair n' lovely". Now men are also thronging into parlors, getting all the services that women get for their appearance grooming.

The factors of having such strong aesthetic sense and urge to look good include status consciousness, competition among same gender colleagues and development of relationships. The problem of class difference, social stratification and the urge to be equal or look similar to those of the more privileged class has indulged men in spending extravagantly on their "garnishing". The same is the case with women. But women have always been influenced by their mothers, imitating them and following their path towards femininity: from a caterpillar to a butterfly. So it is not that weird. Now a days the guys try their best to become gorgeous so that the girls hover over them like bees on honey. True, right? :p

Now whom are they following? Well, the media has always been the most effective institution of all, which not only targets the general public for commercialization, but also has an effect on their entire lifestyles! The fairy tales, with extremely charming prince getting the most beautiful princess, the movies with "munda kukarr kamal da" and the celebrities becoming more "pyara" day by day... In the world of glamor, rough has been replaced by sober and polished, that is, earlier, the boys' most favorite get up used to be Radhay Mohan type, but now everyone wants to look like Henry Cavil. Both girls and guys instruct the hair dressers at the salons as to which celebrity's hair-style or hair cut do they want.

And the most affected group is the middle class. They, being educated yet lacking the opportunities, are more concerned with impression building and management, being able to grasp the best chances and to be confident enough to face the people superior to them. They have to cover or overcome their complexes, mostly of inferiority, and find peace in looking adorable and being "stared at" or "poondied" by the opposite gender. We Asians have a problem of Eurocentrism. We want to look fair like the westerners. And they, on the other hand, tan their bodies to look relatively darker.

Beautification has turned out to be a transitional stage from traditional masculinity to contemporary gender stratification. Today metrosexuality is gaining greater fame among men. Many of them, not making a sensible choice in their fashion sense, are often questioned of their sexual orientation too. In Japan, a term "Bishonen" is quite often used for the feminine beauty of men, and is widely approved of. I think that men can still look adorable and stylish if they know how to carry themselves, without following women's path of beautification (obviously it is entirely their choice if they STILL want to do so.) This is also a notable fact that today, in many weddings, the grooms reach later than their brides (especially in South Asia), because they were getting ready at the parlor!

When boys are advised to be more manly and to avoid a little too much of this girlish stuff, they answer like this, "Larkiyan bhi to itna kuch karti hain, hum ne kar lia to kya ho gaya"! (Men say women tend to be more beauty conscious and spend lavishly in the effort of becoming a beaut. So what's wrong if we do so?) And when asked, most of the boys in the audience (at the show) said they'd prefer a "simple" lady. But then my question is, why don't such men go for a uni-browed, with hair tightly bunned and dressed in a light-colored plain, loose-fit lawn suit, when it comes to getting married?? Why are such girls then rejected on the basis of appearance and all their talents and abilities are ignored? If they are such strong supporters of simplicity, then why they start drooling when they see a well-dressed, pretty and stylish girl? Why do they throw their "number-chits" at such girls and why do they try to impress them? Well, the guys know the answer very well, even if they don't admit the reality. 

The thing is, the beauty industry is in the hands of males, and for centuries, the main targets have been females. But for quite some time, the trends have trickled from women towards men, with newer brands of men's cosmetics, outfits, shoes, accessories,drugs and everything enhancing their beauty, you name it!

Concluding this piece, I'd say, beauty consciousness is not to be ashamed of. It should be focussed on, and everyone should try to maintain a presentable persona according to what suits them; this is their birthright. It's a never-ending debate that who is MORE BEAUTY CONSCIOUS today... because everyone has got an exclusive aesthetic sense, and they want to follow it. Still, just keep this in mind,

For guys: "Girls want men, not more girl-friends!"

For girls: "Diana bano, lekin daain nahi!" 

A Marxist Warrior..?

This is a page of my diary...of 19th of March, 2013...
Today I experienced a wave of discomfort spread all over my Sociology class. We were given an activity question to write about our social CLASS, the consistency of the dimensions/factors for stratification and that why do people feel awkward in discussing their statuses???

Many of us were actually uncomfortable answering that question.

There were a lot many reasons for it. I traced out the following:

1. Most of us did not know which class do we ACTUALLY belong to. Living in a country where the biggest prevailing crisis is none other than economic crisis. And the status quo can be BY NO MEANS maintained unless you belong to some bureaucracy...thus each one of us was equally unsure about their CLASS. (I wrote "fluctuating middle class" for myself!)

2. We live in a status conscious society. Everyone is engaged in making a healthy and wealthy impression of himself in front of others. Our materialistic society judges people from their material possessions rather than their personal characteristics. So the blessed ones may not be as fearful of social rejection as the comparatively deprived ones; no matter how much better they are...

3. The question required pretty much a personal life disclosure which certainly most of us wouldn't afford to share. We are of the view that can not, infact, should not let others know about our personal life.

4. Very few people have the strength to put forth their family attributes including the dimensions of stratification like income, wealth, schooling, occupational prestige and power. Secondly, majority does not want to share how many of these dimensions remained consistent throughout their lives and the past few generations. As this could create complexities in their social relations. 

The crux is, whatever the issue we students were facing, it was related with the immense CLASS DIFFERENCE!

In the end, I just want to say that some times I wish to end this class system for good. I wish to be a Marxist warrior and end this social and mental repression. But I am also aware of the fact that then the society would not be an ideal one either...because then I'd be wishing for a society with no competition...?Well, there would be no charm without competition. So let the society as it is, all we can do is try to help others as much as we can and avoid discrimination and prejudice pertaining to the social class...!

End of call packages and SMS bundles...Yin or Yang?

A few days back, I was conversing with two of my colleagues of University of the Punjab whom I attended the Erfurtian Summer School with. It was a group chat on Facebook and while talking about random things, we came up with the topic of whether the decision of PTA for ending all call and SMS packages is a worthy decision or not...It has not yet been finalized, but here is what I've got to say about it.

First of all, let's admit the fact that moral values are inculcated by the traits of morality descending through the ancestral chain, and not by force. Coercively, you may develop discipline among the public with, but not morality, no.

PTA banned YouTube, but still there are a large number of internet users of Pakistan who are utilizing Proxy services for opening it, for multiple reasons. They put a ban on Facebook, and it was removed. The PEMRA banned Indian channels, and then the Indian dramas and programs began to be broadcast through Pakistani channels, and there was way more nudity on many private and English channels being showed in Pakistan. So where do you see the benefit of putting a BAN on such stuff?? 

I know there is a great need to put the youth back on track... they are wasting a lot of time on cell-phones, texting and making long phone calls, with no positive outcomes. Their abilities are rusting out and they have very little interest in the "real" world outside the cell-phones. We all are aware of the use of cell phones/ texting during the class, during job, while having meals and so on. There should have, undoubtedly, been a check on them because it is affecting their academic and professional performance badly. Also, there needs to be an end to the wrong-calls, prank calls and digital harassment. The youth is also the main target in the mobile networks market. So this is a positive step of preventing them from falling into the pit of foolishness and immorality. But there is another side to it, too.

During the discussion, one of my colleagues, Anam said that,

"Have you seen any traffic wardens or ticket checkers in Germany they socialize their nation from very beginning, and time to time these values become part of their life. They are mannered, well civilized societies even without religious guidelines(I am not sure about this thing, though) where we stand.With out internalization such bans are more dangerous youth will find more drastic"
True that! And it is because they have got it from their ancestors... and such characteristics are deep rooted; to work hard and with honesty (we work hardly and even if we do, hardly with honesty! :P ), to cash time rather than wasting it; But another aspect is, that they have not been tortured by their government like us. We all are in the same quicksand of making money. We have been exasperated by load shedding, inflation, security issues, unemployment, increasing crime rate and so on. And when there are so many issues hovering around you and there is no direction or motivation provided to you, why would you think of doing anything productive and be honestly contributive?? Obviously in such an infernal situation, people would go for the type of entertainment they deem the easiest in access and gives them , at least, financial relief... or the one that satisfies some of their urges after "pait-puja".

SMS packages and late night calls are actually doors to a world of fantasy that mostly the youth choose as an outlet for their frustration, a mode of catharsis, where they can reach as many people as possible without having to SPEND much .. and getting A LOT in return, if you know what I mean!

And, sorry to say, but I feel that the people have come to the verge of being coercively controlled, we are far from hegemony because we've become badly addicted to the mirage technology which soon we'll end up having zilch access to... a horrible thing to imagine!

I am not against the BAN, but yes I do believe that putting a ban on these packages will not solve our issues. It will bring more complexities, most importantly, frustration among the already oppressed youth. They will find other alternatives like cell-phones with wi-fi technology, or spend more time on Facebook. This will also create a class-difference when the students with affordability will continue using the cell phones and those without it will either waste money on the cell-phone or feel as the "deprived ones"!

I think the youth needs motivation and direction towards other optimistic and positive aspects... rather than suppressing them or depriving them of the technology. Our youth has the strength and courage to bear everything and achieve the set goals, so there should be steps to set them targets, not MAKE THEM TARGETS of tyranny...!

1st day at University of Erfurt

7^th of August, 2013

Well, my first day at the University of Erfurt was very exciting to begin my life’s first Summer School ever. So here it goes:

We had a brief introduction session with various new faces as our summer school mates, belonging to diverse regions of Uzbekistan, Germany, USA, Kazakhistan and Pakistan.First lecture of Intercultural Communication with Mrs. Petra Eweleit was actually electrifying because it awoke in me the courage to speak on a forum with so many foreign students in an entirely foreign country. The best thing was to group the students from all the three universities together, eradicating cultural, regional and language limitations. We elaborated, in a very friendly and academic environment, the maps of both Pakistan and Germany. I as a sociologist believe in avoiding stereotypical mode of thinking for the foreigners, which is a common global practice. And in the lecture, we discussed how these stereotypes are formed due to media and the perception of the viewers; and that if they are true (which mostly are exaggerations by media). Moreover, we shared our views in a group form about the intercultural communication via media, assimilation and tolerance for multiculturalism. Not only the verbal but also the methods of non-verbal communication and symbolization for interacting with different cultures are important. We learnt some cultural aspects deeply associated with Germany, a question-answer activity. Here I learnt about:

·         German way of greeting

·         Hotelling

·         Overcoming xenophobia

·         The digital way of disposing of plastic bottles

·         Gifts for hosts

·         Significance of designation titles for addressing the Germans

·         Punctuality

       We visited the Library of Erfut University and also had a wonderful sight-seeing tour of the historical city of Erfurt with Mr. Felix Beirmann and Mr. Hasnain Bokhari. We visited the Protestant and the Catholic Churches, walked through the beautiful and well- decorated streets, visited malls and markets and the best part was the Town Hall. For me, the most notable thing of Erfurt is the way the people have maintained this old city, and I wish the same attitude be inculcated in the people residing in Pakistan too.

And this is how the first day ended. J