Hero unheard.. Thought for a lifetime...!

You don't always have to be a popular celebrity to do a heroic act or leave an impression with your strong words...
Today when I was about to buy apples, I found out that I didn't have enough money... and perhaps the vendor realized it and what he said took me by surprise...he said

"Koi bat ni baji... jab kabhi ap idhr dubara ayin ya kahin rastay milay to de dijye ga pese... ya kbi na b milay to b koi bat nahin!"
("It's ok ma'am, you may pay me some other day if our paths cross... and if they don't, even then it would not matter..!")

And then I realized that I did have some money in the dashboard...I
So I asked for half a kilo apples...the guy chose the best of the apples (which the vendors usually keep for the LAST customer of the day -_-) and when I thanked him for his honesty, he smiled and said these remarkable words,

"Baji ap ko pata hai hamaray mulk ka ye sab se bara masla hai... apne hi bhai behnon k sath ghadari aur badunwani krtay hain... agar hum hi apne Pakistani behn bhaiyon k sath achayi nai kren ge to koi b nahi kre ga... ye sb emaandari aur aetbar ki baat hai baji...!
("Sister you know this is the biggest issue we are facing in Pakistan...treason and corruption against our own Pakistani brothers and sisters... if we don't do good with our own Pakistani brothers and sisters.. no one else will....it's all about honesty and trust, sister!"

He went away... and left me with the thought that if only we ALL could think this way...things in Pakistan could've been different...much different!!

The Dilemmas of an Ambivert

Hey! Are you an E or an I? What? Didn't get it? Or did you?? Well, if you did, welcome to the widely spread personality zone, and for those of you who didn't, these are the two main types of personality.. the Extrovert and the Introvert- the E and the I. 

Why this means so much to me that I created a new blog post for it?? I have always had this issue of being too social or too anti (or selectively) social among people of both the kinds. I am sure many of you do, too. We're too quite, people start calling us introverted, and if we're the chatterboxes, then we'll be labeled as the extroverts. Talking about personality types always fascinates me and this topic has been chiming in my mind for quite some time...

I recently had a golden opportunity to visit the United States of America, for taking part in the SUSI Kansas Women's Leadership Institute (KWLI2014) at the University of Kansas, USA. Throughout the great journey of learning, fun, adventure, classes, activities, travelling and shopping... there was something that molded our attitudes, thoughts, actions and reactions...it was that war of the personality traits within each one of us! Why am I writing this in association with the KWLI?? Because that is the first time I actually understood what our behaviors were all about... that is where I learnt why we become "not ourselves" which actually is a part of us.. within us?? And.. most importantly.. what personality type I actually am...(though a lot is to be discovered yet)
It was this genius named Carl Jung who first spoke of the introversion and extraversion as human personality traits. He was of the view that every one is highly associated with one of these two traits and low on the other. So he must be either an introvert or an extrovert. One could easily identify an E or an I in a public gathering, (though you would find lesser I's in large social gatherings), through their way of interaction. E's are believed to be loud, enthusiastic, assertive, sometimes "dominating", often known as "full of energy". While the I's are perceived to be "shy" though there is a difference between being shyd and being "selectively social". It is stereotypical to say that an extrovert is always bossy or an introvert cannot be a salesperson. And it had been long believed, or misbelieved that only these two types exist. 

But what about those chatterboxes who turn down all of a sudden?? Or what about those seldom chirping souls turning into juke boxes?? Well... here come the Myer-Briggs type indicator assessments, to solve this riddle...so now they have four dichotomies namely 

1. Extravert-Introvert

2. Sensing- Intuition

3. Thinking-Feeling

4. Judging-Perceiving

These four account for the 16 different types of personalities....they are also classified as ENFP, INTP, ESFJ and so on...There are various factors that influence our personalities, like I experienced, and so does our multidimensional personality lets out another, buried dimension of our personality that no one, not even we ourselves, knew, and that takes everyone by surprise (even shock!). 

Okay, so we were told to take the MBTI at the KWLI...We took an online personality test and then waited for the results... and to my surprise (or shock :p) it read as:
"Sorry but you do not fit into any one category of the personalities, which might be a good thing in itself." Yeah thanks for consoling....
And then we took another test, but what I found out there was even sillier.. (I call it so)... I turned out to be an ENFP and INFP...simultaneously...!
Now this was something ringing a bell...who am I? Who are all of us that do not fit into a "single" category of the MBTI 16 personalities??
That was my awakening point... I needed to know why this happened only with ME among the 25 women? So here's the answer...

                                                                            We are Ambiverts...

Have you been in a state of eternal happiness, where you have been screaming out loud with joy, making the best of your time chit-chatting, being adventurous, being naughty, being open, being enthusiastic, in short, full of life? And then crawl back into that shell of yours, where you do not want to socialize with all those good people around you, where you feel like talking to yourself and just "processing" (I borrowed this word from my KWLI sister), or where you want to be left alone, in the silent, deep dark vales of muse...? Has anyone lately told you... "Hey! You don't speak as much as you used to, what's up?" And you actually have no explanation because it is true and unreasonable... 

Have you experienced the urge to go on the stage and rock everyone in the audience with your melodious voice, and then there's another you hiding in your room, or behind a friend, so that you are not pointed out or noticed in a crowd? Have you been through the phase when you want to be out with your dearest ones, working on new projects every day and want the world to know all about you... and all of a sudden you need a lot of personal space? Do you speak too much that no one else has the space to talk after you, and then your voice goes mute because now you want to listen more...? Or let's get to a more "close -to-life" example, have you always been craving to upload some stuff on a social media webdsite for the world to know.. and all of a sudden you begin to feel that perhaps going that public might not be a wise idea... just becasue you can't handle the digital audience? Well, I did too...
Ambiverts are not-very-well-researched-about mythical beings. They are, technically, those with an automatic personality generator. It may push the E personality out at one time and the I type in another. It has been studied by Adam Grant of The Wharton School in 2013 that those with the extreme forms find it more difficult to mold according to the situation than the ambiverts. (Contributor: David DiSalvo, Source: Forbes 2013). The study also reveals that there are few people who live only on the two extremes of the personalities; where most of them have an inclination towards the lesser dominant personality trait too.

The ambiverts have to face various dilemmas while being among their peers, relatives, colleagues or other social gatherings. They might seem "weird" to some and "unique" to others (well these are synonymous, with two diverse contexts)
Ambiverts might seem too talkative to an introvert and a little quite for an extrovert. Or they might become any one of them when the circumstances demand from them...sometimes, they might  be labeled as being on one extreme. They might be urged by the peers to speak up, or told to shut up! (Yeah it's hard to be an ambivert right! ):D

Ambiversion is also said to be the middle stage of The Big Five personality traits i.e. openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism... is that you too..? "All in one?  How is that possible??" This is another dilemma of an ambivert, how to be on just one side of the personality. We see that there are people who can actually stick to their E or I version everywhere, but it should not be forgotten that the human mind is complex and cannot be completely fixed to one side. Still,  those of us who are ambiverts, rather multiverts, need to learn to find our required type of personality in the related environment. It often happens that the expression of the personality trait might differ pertaining to the situation we are in and the way we are socio-culturally required to behave and act. That is where an ambivert might get trapped, that is where I, you and many like us get seized.. :p
So here I'd like to thank the KWLI 2014 for conducting the MBTI because of which I came to peep a little bit inside me...And thus got to know about the "third dimension" of personalities, to which I belong . 

Apart from the dilemmas, the ambiverts have a lot to enjoy, like the variety of life, the COLORS of the personality rather than being either black or white...this, while exhibiting the extreme personality traits, is not possible.But the thing is, as the E's and the I's are proud to be them, we A's should start being proud of ourselves, we formed an entirely different personality trait, which is equally a good and a bad thing :p Also, like others, the ambiverts should enjoy the freedom of being and expressing themselves, and not always get bound by the chains of the societal expectations .
So now that I have found out WHAT personality type I am, I feel that I have a greater choice of locking myself in my room or playing in the rain with my best friends...it's because I am an Ambivert!

Oh, English!!

A few days ago, I came across an interesting post on a discussion forum on Facebook. (Yes, Facebook can be used for such purposes too!) The post was about the sense of inferiority among the South Asians, with special reference to Pakistan, among the people who can not communicate well in ENGLISH. Yes the same old story, the one who speaks English well is a Baabu and the one unable to do so is, simply, a Paindu.

What factors promoted Anglicization? Where did this Xenocentrism come from? Have the people of the sub-continent always been so keen to learn English and speak it in front of others just to impress them?

We'll find answers to these questions, first let's have a look at the origin and spread of English. 

In the 5th century, A.D., three German tribes invaded Britain. The tribes included Angles from Englaland, Saxons from South Germany and Jutes from the Jutland Peninsula and North Frisian coast. At that time, the British used to speak Celtic language. But after invasion, they were pushed to the North West of Britain, which is now called Ireland, Scotland and Wales. The Angles brought their own language from Englaland, the Englisc, from which the word English was derived. 

The invasion of Germans into Britain

Script from Beowulf: A sample of Old English

English is thus known as a "borrowing language". Like many other languages, English has been brought into existence by collaboration of Anglo-Frisian languages. The Old English, written and spoken till 1100 A.D. was much different from the English written and spoken today. It had very different font, diphthongs and vocabulary.  

A piece of Chaucer's writing: A sample of Middle English

With the invasion of the Normans from Normandy (a part of Modern France), a kind of French language began to be used for the Royal Courts and ruling classes; while the lower classes spoke English. In the 14th Century, English became the most common language in the Britain again. This time, the language had a mixture of many words from the French vocabulary. This is how the Middle English emerged, which was used in 1100-1500 A.D. It had slight similarities with today's English. Many words of Modern English have been derived from the Middle English.

Hamlet: A sample of Early Modern English

In the 16th century, due to global trading and interaction of the British with people around the world, there was a rapid shift of vowels and the pronunciations became shorter and more crisp. Also, the dialect of London, which was the home to major publishing houses, became the standard.Finally, there emerged the need of an entirely new vocabulary after the Industrial Revolution. Also, the British Empire had invaded and conquered one third of the earth's land. Their interaction with the people of diverse countries forced them to add new words in the vocabulary. This occurred in 1800, and developed the Late Modern English. 

Below is a sample of stages of how the writing evolved from Old to Late Modern English:

Meanwhile the British entered the subcontinent for trading purposes, and turned into the British Raj. The citizens of the subcontinent automatically became the subordinates. Under their rule, the British formulated many laws and education policies where the local citizens were compelled to learn the language of the goras. Though it was opposed at first, but considering it the "need of the hour", English got slow, yet steady acceptance in the local languages. So this is how we met the "Modern English", in its finest form, ready to Anglicize the local dialects.

Now let's get back to our REAL problem... Where did this Xenocentrism come from? You see, it is not the language that makes people "feel" inferior, but the trends of the society that make something so superior that following it becomes inevitable.
In the French Rule, or to be more specific, the Norman Rule, French was the language of the royals and English was spoken by the lower classes. That's because it was the TREND back then. Today, when we speak English fluently, others and even we, get the impression of being a little more sophisticated and impressive than the non-speakers. People admire and look up more to those with a pure British or American accent rather than those with a typical Desi one (typical explanation of a Desi accent: the one in which the pronunciation of every last word has a jerk, and with that Spanish spice of over-stressing consonants like R, D, T etc.). 

Although, those who can use English proficiently will easily say that not knowing English is not a crime, let's be "honest and pure" towards our mother tongue; but then, ask those who are victims of social discrimination on this basis.Today, English has become a status symbol for many. If I talk about myself, my fellows and my friends in Pakistan, we consider English not as a language; but as a very expensive object, a show piece, used to determine the owner's ranking in the society. Those not being able to communicate effectively in English are often stigmatized and mocked at. (Pity, yes)

And then we have the other side of the coin, the critiques of the English language, loathing it for unknown number of reasons including ethnic bias, geographical boundaries, cultural differences and so on. (I don't even get the point of it).

Check point: English is a language, learn it as a skill, please.

The truth is that English is THE language now, which helps in communicating in a large part of the world. Not knowing it is referred to as backwardness, being misfit in a society and lacking one the most vital skills.

Though the stereotypical Eurocentric culture cannot be brought to an end, unless a new wave emerges, spreading a newer language, being set as the scale of modernity; what we can do is to adapt to the change and learn something which may be useful in the long run. 

I might be wrong in your opinion, but I stick to the belief that languages are skills JUST to communicate. If we do not know another person's language, we may have to communicate like the primitive man or the primates, using signs, for instance. If by knowing the dialect, and not considering it as a "standard of sophistication" we can simply talk to others, why not learn it?? And mind you, your personality will make you a Baabu or a Paindu, not the language you use (except for the foul one, of course).

But yes, be slightly cautious of your surroundings, and keep in mind the style and language of communication according to the locality you're in.

Best of luck... :)

Enough of English today..mu hi cheeba ho gya.. :D

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